‘Tshering I am gone,’ her father shouted from the door. There was the sound of water flushing in the bath room and the door being opened. ‘Alright daddy, good day…and bye.’ She yelled back. The familiar sound of the bike’s engine faded to the north. She dried her hair, combed rather hurriedly and went to the dining table to see what her father had prepared for breakfast. There was a scrambled egg still steaming, some five pieces of buttered bread and a tumbler of creamy milk.
For Tshering, her father was everything. Gelephug had become her new home. He had brought her up all alone with his meager earning as security personnel at the Bhutan Boards and Furniture limited. He had been a common security and never risen above owing to his qualification. Tshering’s mother had passed away two days after Tshering’s delivery nineteen years ago. Tshering studied at five different schools before sitting for the class ten board exams. Somehow she had managed to pass but without much hope of continuing further she joined for the basic computer training at CityCenter management institute. She joined the city bank as a typist after graduation. The beginning of her career was a blessing for her father when she began to pay the house rent and saved what little she could for other purposes.
After breakfast she went back to her room and opened for herself a glass of Hit Beer. She lit a cigarette by the window taking a minute’s pull. Her fingers were jittery as the smoke left her nostrils. This had become a routine for the morning for almost a month. Her severity of drinking habit had caused lapses at her work and it was a clear testimony of her irresponsibility even after repeated reprisal from the board Director himself. Her job had been terminated a month ago but she did not tell her father for fear of displeasing his trust and love. Her father had no way of knowing with his duties almost engaging him all hours and seasons. Desperation compelled her to take support from more drinks and smoke secretly.
Whenever her father returned from work she would welcome him warmly, ‘How was the day dad? Any interesting incidences?’ He would reply, ‘Fine; all the same.’ At times he would ask her about her work. She would tell him how she hated her work crammed with computation and statistical managements. It was more of an excuse to cover her lies than a complaint. Times passed with the hide and seek game. She became a perfect actor for one important audience.
Tshering had almost forgotten that another month was coming to an end. She began to get worried about rental payments. One evening during suppertime her father casually reminded, ‘Tshering tomorrow we must clear our rent. We don’t get time to talk much so I am reminding.’ She was barely listening. Her father almost shouted, ‘ Tshering! Are you alright?’ Tshering flexed to attention, ‘ Dad? Yes I’m listening. But I didn’t get the months’ payment so far.’ There were no more words from her father.
The following morning after her father left for work as usual she opened her father’s briefcase. She took a gold ring and a chain. The same afternoon she sold the ornaments to a goldsmith across the border for less than its actual price. She even managed to sell her imported jacket to the local retailer. It was the boldest crime she had committed to redeem her failure. When her father returned home that evening Tshering was sobbing on the floor her hand cut by the window glass. There were broken glasses on the bedroom window and on the floor. ‘What happened?’ He exclaimed aghast at the unexpected spectacle. He took her in his arms and asked her again. ‘I don’t know. It was broken and the window opened when I arrived. I checked inside. My leather jacket is gone.’ She answered between breaths. Her father became pale. When he came out of his room it was even paler. He muttered inaudibly, ‘Darling, everything is lost, everything.’ Tshering called the police to calm her father. That night supper was a forgotten item and sleep became a ghost of tormenting thoughts for both of them.
From the following day the policemen from the criminal department began an intensive investigation into the case for two weeks. Tshering noticed her father becoming paler and weaker every day. He was losing his presence of mind. She felt terribly sorry for him as for herself. One evening he called her to his bedside and told her how he had promised her mother to never let their daughter suffer. He had vowed to take care of her throughout his life. She could see glimpse of despondency weakly glimmering in his aged eyes. ‘You mother was just like you, cheerful and silent. When cancer took the last breath out of her she asked me to give the gold ring on your twentieth birthday. The chain was to be your wedding present.’ Tears filled his eyes. There was no expression of any emotion on his face. She became afraid her father would not live to see another dawn. She sat by his bedside gazing blankly at her father’s pale face.
‘Apa…..apa; I want to tell you something.’ He turned to look at her. He wrapped his hands around her trembling fingers. She wept as she spoke. Without the least hesitation she told him the truth she had tried to hide for almost three months. It was a story of her alcoholism and sordid crime. She told him how she was unable to hurt him my telling the truth and tried all means to keep him happy. There was a blot of bewildered expression on his face, ‘ But you could have told me you lost your job at least.’ Tshering tried to justify to console her father, ‘ I was afraid dad, I really was. I did not want to pressure you on your weak heart. I loved you too much to let you suffer from the stroke. How could I lose you dad.’
His father’s face twisted angrily, ‘This is how you return my blood and sweat. I have wasted every inch of my muscle for you standing night and day. Get away from here?’ He yelled with all the strength he had. Tshering held his hands begging forgiveness. ‘ I don’t want to see you. Please go……….’ He screamed at her. She stood dead by the bedside saying nothing. He gestured her to go out, his hands flailing lifelessly. She walked out of the room weeping agonizingly. The silence outside was less soothing than it did with the bottle of beer.
Irreparable damage had been done. When the morning broke over the town Tshering’s father was no more a man but a defeated corpse. Everything after that happened like a dream. Her confession gave her a year and half in jail.
After her release she had no home, she was a dilapidated woman. However, she got a job at the Blue Dragons’ Diner as a counter woman without much difficulty. And for the rest of her life the old guilt distressed her even in her comforting dreams.The broken glasses could never be mended again.
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